Being in a relationship can be great, and it always is work. Most things worthwhile involve work. Whether you think your relationship may last forever (beware oneitis!) or perhaps wonder if you’ll last another week, you want the relationship to be happy.
First, what constitutes a relationship? As Carlos taught me, if you are seeing someone more than once a week, it is a relationship, regardless of what you may call it (I learned this lesson the hard way). If it is once a week or less, probably not.
Now don’t assume that just because you started seeing someone, perhaps sleeping with them, that they want a relationship. Don’t make any assumptions here. Honest dialog is good, but keep in mind that women may not be sure of what they want and certainly are not as logical as men.
Read the next sentence carefully:
Women are not the same as men. Stop applying «Male» logic to them as it rarely applies!
Consider the following analogy I learned courtesy of Adam Gilad: Men are like ships with a destination in mind, logically and methodologically progressing towards it. Women are like the ocean, with its constant tides and ever changing currents and lack of stability.
Masculine energy is logical. Both men and women have different degrees of masculine energy, but generally men have far more than women. Feminine energy is emotional. Although we are all emotional, I think we can agree that in general women are more emotionally driven than men.
Listen means «Listen» not «Listen and Solve»
Listening is a critical skill for us men. When women speak, they want us to listen. For example, let’s say your girlfriend had a tough day at work or has a problem with her parents or perhaps a disagreement with a friend. She wants you to listen.
You however, as a man, want to solve. She does not usually want you to solve or propose solutions. Just listen and be understanding. That is usually what she wants, not solutions.
Women communicate primarily to share emotions, NOT facts!
Now, on what a women wants. Do not apply male logic here. A woman wants you to figure out what she wants. She is not consciously being difficult, or even subconsciously being difficult; she is simply being feminine. OK, some women are fundamentally difficult and whackos, but not most!
A woman also expects you to be decisive. If she asks you which of two pairs of shoes or three dresses she should wear, and you really don’t care, say something like «I like the red one,» assuming of course you do. Have an opinion. It doesn’t have to be a strong opinion, and she doesn’t need to go along, but have an opinion. It is masculine to be decisive!
A relationship will be tumultuous by its nature, because feminine energy is emotional and masculine energy is logical. Accept this. Enjoy this, because this is the nature of most women, and part of what makes them wonderful and fascinating to us.
Now I am assuming that as The Tao of Badass says, that you, the man, are fulfilling the male role and she is fulfilling the female role in the relationship. Although everyone has masculine and feminine energy, maybe 80% of the time the man has more masculine energy. It is possible that roles are reversed somewhat, and that is neither good nor bad.
If you are masculine, you will tend to attract feminine women, so simply accept this. If you are more feminine (nothing wrong with that), you will attract more masculine women (who may be as hot as any other woman – we are NOT talking looks here!).